Additional Information
After the release of Good Grief in 2022 and his five-song EP If I was I am in 2023, Bells Larsen is back with Blurring Time, a beautiful nine-song album where past and present coexist, sometimes tugging at each other, for a moment that will never exist anywhere else but on the album. An immortalization of a passage through art where the artist, then in a process of transition, wanted to say goodbye to his former identity, like a farewell gift, intertwining it with his present.
There is one voice frame for the high notes by the ‘Bells of before’ and one for the low notes by the ‘Bells of now,’ after the testosterone intake. The result is a melodious, intimate duet that brilliantly records in music, and in history, this period of change that he wanted to be marked by benevolence rather than sadness.
The singles “514-415,” “Blurring Time” and “Might,” accompanied by his video clips, immediately set the tone for his gentle, comforting folk, with a touch of magic in the arrangements, and always with well-dosed vocals. This unique approach led to the artist being refused access to the United States, where he was due to perform live, and this was recently publicized in the media.
Marilyn Bouchard spoke to Bells Larsen about his creative process, the collaborators on the album and the changes he has experienced and will experience in the future, since they are never finished.
PAN M 360: Where did you get the idea of combining your old voice with your new one on the album?
Bells Larsen: Writing this album, in the space of a year, I understood who I was. I wrote “Blurring Time” first and “Might” last … but in reality it could have been called I’m gonna’ because it was no longer a possibility but a certainty. I realised at that point that I had to make certain decisions to be more authentic to myself, like starting to use testosterone. It was really difficult for me to decide whether I wanted to capture the album with my old voice or wait until after the transition and record it only with the new one. But in a way it was a bit worrying for me because there was an element of uncertainty in not knowing how my instrument would be modified. So, just to be on the safe side, I thought I’d record with my old voice first … and then as I thought about it I said to myself ‘You know what, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone mix documentation on their transition like that’ and at the same time there was a trend on Tik Tok at the time with duets where everyone was doing duets with a modified version of themselves … so I thought it would be a nice … farewell and welcome present to give myself.
PAN M 360: Since you’ve got a new voice, does that mean you’re taking inspiration from different sounds, since your instrument has changed?
Bells Larsen: Yes, absolutely! Really! It’s a bit like learning French: you have access to lots of new options that you didn’t have before! It allows me to understand and experiment with my instrument in new ways. Just as the French language gives me new rhymes to play with, my new voice gives me access to tones I didn’t have before.
PAN M 360: You said in an interview that this album was born more out of necessity than choice? Why is that?
Bells Larsen: I think it was necessary to understand myself better. My relationship with my identity isn’t one where it’s black or white…this or that…one or the other. Even though I’m a guy, even though I’ve made decisions to transition, I take so many things with me from my old version. And I thought it was important that this other me should accompany me in my transition, not only with the music but also for the rest of my life. I could have just recorded my voice before or just after my transition, but I made the musical choice of both… out of the need for me as a person to be in tune with everything I am, was, and will be.
PAN M 360: There are several places in Montreal that feature in your lyrics: Outremont, the Clark/Duluth corner. Is your art influenced by the city where you live?
Bells Larsen: Yes, of course! Montreal is so beautiful! It’s a magnificent city! I split my time between Toronto and Montreal, and I have a friend who used to live in Montreal and moved back to Toronto who said something like: ‘You go to Toronto for your friends, your connections … it’s really a social city. Montreal is an experience…’, and I couldn’t have said it better myself. Montreal is an experience where all your senses are active. You can smell it, feel it, taste it, see it. I feel very inspired as an artist by Montreal, because it’s such an artistic city too.
PAN M 360: You said that the lens through which we look at the past in the case of a transition is often sad or tinged with regret, but that you wanted instead to make this passage a celebration, filled with kindness and gratitude. Can you explain your vision to us?
Bells Larsen: First of all, I really want to emphasize that this is my own perception and experience of the whole thing, but I completely understand that some people will need to grieve in their own way, which can sometimes be sadder, needing to put the old version of themselves aside so that the new one can really be born. Just to say that all feelings are valid. I grew up watching the Canadian show Degrassi and I also watched several coming-out videos, even before I did mine, and in many of the performances I saw… let’s say in Degrassi when there was a trans person talking, you saw the old version of that person and there was a lot of sad music playing in the background, in the coming-out videos on YouTube there wasn’t necessarily a sad tone but…a clear dichotomy (which I completely understand)…so in the end it was often more melancholy and I found myself less in it. It was less my reality because at the start I’d thought I might be non-binary… like I was a mix.
As I said in the song “Blurring Time,” I used to think I was ‘both and more’ and now I understand that it’s more of a binary side that I fall into but I have a lot of dualities, complexities, influences that cohabit within me and I couldn’t be the person I am now without all the versions of me from the past. So that’s kind of what I wanted to celebrate on the album, and I wanted it to be a gentle celebration of both of my selfs.
PAN M 360: The arrangements on the album are minimalist and uncluttered. Was this a choice to leave more room for the vocals?
Bells Larsen : Yes, exactly! I wanted the vocals to be at the forefront and on the other hand too… I write all my music in my bedroom, sitting on my bed, it’s quite intimate. And I just love the quality of the vocal memos when the song has just been written. I think I wanted that intimate quality too. That when someone listens to the music they can feel that they’re next to me now…and next to me before. That the two versions of me are on either side of the listener.
PAN M 360: You had already worked with Graham Ereaux on Good Grief, what was different about the creative process this time?
Bells Larsen : Honestly, I’d say there were times when it wasn’t easy. It’s really connected with my mental health and also my self-esteem and self-confidence. Before I was really ‘I’m flexible, I’m good to go with whatever’ but when you’re more sure of what you want, what your limits are and you’re more direct with it… It’s really good but when you had relationships that existed with a lot of ease, it creates a contrast let’s say. When I recorded the voice aloud, I hadn’t yet started the testosterone and I was still unsure… still a bit shy. Then I cultivated so much self-esteem and understanding of who I am in the interim, also thanks to a fantastic shrink…. I knew a lot more about who I was. So maybe that was shocking for some people. And Graham really is the sweetest person, it’s not about him but about the world in general and my relationship to it that has changed. I’ve lost a few links in the process, through alignment, but Graham’s not in that!
PAN M 360: You also worked with Georgia Harmer on this album, who is a childhood friend of yours, what was that like?
Bells Larsen : It was the most natural thing in the world. I’m at my parents’ flat right now and I see the guitar she gave me for my 18th birthday. I played all my first shows with Georgia on that guitar. I’ve got more or less a decade’s experience of working with her, and the reason I went looking for her for this project was because she had a really intimate relationship with my old voice. So she’s definitely going to help me with the new one. She’s also such a talented musician, with a really interesting way of thinking about harmonies. She understands things. She knows where to give and where to take away, how to create impact… and I’m really glad I went looking for her for that.
PAN M 360: Queer time is a subject that fascinates you and inspired you to write this album. Would you like to tell us a bit about it?
Bells Larsen : I think the queer and trans world experience time differently from cisgender or straight people, mainly because we find out a bit later in life. In any case, that’s been true for me since I’ve come out several times – I’ve already identified myself with each of the letters in the LGBTQ acronym. I’m 27 but at the same time I feel like I’m 3 years old. I’m just learning about my desires, my wishes, my limits… because it’s only now that I can cultivate and discover that. I have other friends my age who are having babies. A queer timeline isn’t chronological…but it’s not unchronological either. My timeline is so blurry, so all over the place. I’m me now. But I’ve always been me. And I’m still the me I was. All that coexists.
PAN M 360: You recently announced that you’d had to cancel a series of concerts in the United States, because of the worrying climate there these days and also because of complications related to the fact that you’re trans. Can we find out more?
Bells Larsen : Yeah, it’s been a week and a half since I announced that and it’s only been a few days since my album came out, so I think it’s only natural that the album and the fact that I’m a politicized artist should be mixed together. I welcome that and I understand it. And I hope my album can be a comfort to my community, especially those living in the US, to people who feel isolated and oppressed by the new regulations. I hope that music can humanize the community… because people hate what they don’t understand and are afraid of the unknown. I hope my music can show that I’m just a person wanting to get closer to myself and that it’s not something unique to trans people. I think it’s really beautiful that within the trans community there’s a propensity to explore oneself. I’m going to manage the situation and concentrate on Quebec, Canada and Europe. And I think I’m less in shock now, I understand the current situation.
PAN M 360: What’s in store for the rest of 2025?
Bells Larsen: There are a lot of shows coming up (not in the US but elsewhere haha)! Yes, there’s Toronto, Hamilton, and Montreal too, which is sold out and I’m very excited. Then there are the festivals and even more Quebec dates to come until the autumn. I’ll be touring Canada with one of my heroes, and we’ll be playing some big venues!
