Additional Information
On April 8, November Ultra released Bedroom Walls, her first album. Between this wave of sweetness (I mention it in this review) and today, the singer has been so solicited (French media, concerts in France and in the United Kingdom and display of her album in Times Square) that setting the day of our meeting has taken some time. She explained to me afterward that this time is necessary for everything. To let things come and to give oneself the space to exist, that’s what this album tells us. Having just recovered from COVID, November Ultra took the time to speak to PAN M 360. I was greeted by a person with pastel colors, a straightforward line of liner, and a warm and familiar tone.
NOVEMBER ULTRA: Here we are, I’m so happy and I hope you’re doing well. It’s my dream to come to Canada!
PAN M 360: For this first album, in an interview, you talked about provoking the break-up when you are in depression. How did you live this passage?
NOVEMBER ULTRA: It’s a long process. You have to realize that you are going through something that is not obvious. The first step is to accept that you are not well. Very quickly, when you have accepted it, the next step is to take action, to ask yourself how to cope. I know that these are, unfortunately, little creatures that we live with all our lives. I realize, as I grow up, that I’m able to deal with it in a much quicker and healthier way. Depression is saying to myself, “What’s the point of getting up in the morning? I don’t know where I’m going, what I’m doing…” I have learned to provoke the break, that is to say to go out of my comfort zone. It’s not easy, but once you’ve done it, your experience speaks to you and says, “See, it’s going to be okay.” Even if it doesn’t work out, it will have taken you a step forward to something. Making an album is a step towards that. The first track on the album, “Over & Over & Over,” is definitely a step. It’s acceptance. After that, the next step was the creation of this total state of brokenness.
PAN M 360: This album took almost four years to complete. In a pivotal time, that’s a lot of emotion. What did you learn in all of this?
NOVEMBER ULTRA: I made the first track in 2018. “Soft & Tender” was April 2019. For six months I did other pieces that I didn’t keep, but they were necessary to get to “Soft & Tender”. When I met my friend Guillaume Ferran, we were in the studio, I made him listen to the album. He started listening to it from the track “Le Manège,” then to the end. He wanted to come back to “Over & Over.” At that point, I told him “No, please don’t listen to this one”. When he asked me why, I realized how uncomfortable I was with that first song, and that it was over, I wasn’t that person anymore. So I knew the album was over at that point.
I realized that I had gained a lot of confidence and peace, which you can hear on “Open Arms,” the last track. It’s not insignificant, there was the passage of the thirties in the middle of the album. I also started seeing a shrink in the meantime, so there is something correlated with who I was and who I have become. The beginning of the album is really about coming to terms with everything that’s wrong, for example in the track “Monomania,” which is almost short-circuiting, and then there’s a peace that comes with “Nostalgia/Ultra,” with “September,” and with “Incantation.” It was long, and at the same time, I needed it. We are in a world where we do not allow ourselves to live anymore. I still had things to live for before I could finish.
PAN M 360: When it was over, how did you feel?
NOVEMBER ULTRA: I couldn’t wait! I couldn’t wait for it to come out, I felt like a pregnant woman! (laughs) It was a celebration. I was ready. Music is about sharing, it’s about singing in front of people, with them. A song exists in a different way, once it’s heard. It becomes bigger than what you’ve done. It’s so nice to see how people received it. All of this is a new stage that I’m very interested in.
PAN M 360: You are very good at conveying emotions.
NOVEMBER ULTRA: Thank you very much. That was my compass. Emotion takes precedence over technicality. There are fragile vocal takes. All the backups of “Soft & Tender” at the end are very “blue.” It didn’t work when I tried to redo the vocals and it was right. It’s a choice to put emotion above technicality. I didn’t want people to hear my album and say “What a voice!” I’m not Celine Dion, I love Celine Dion, my God, but that’s not what I wanted! I wanted my voice to convey emotions and my technique to serve that, not just me going “AAAAH!” (operatic singing voice) for 45 minutes! (laughs) And at the same time, I sing because it calms me down. I think these are things that I can crystallize in audio.
PAN M 360: You talk about your voice. Live, it is powerful and captivating. In concert at the Trianon, I saw your sensitivity and your intensity. Can you deal with all that?
NOVEMBER ULTRA: It’s true, I cried at the Trianon, and I seldom cry in concert. I am often very moved. The interpretation is important. With “Nostalgia/Ultra,” all of a sudden I was taken. There were a lot of people, my parents, and I realized what was happening. At the same time, afterward I sang and it was square. Since it’s something I’ve been doing since I could speak, it became like breathing, it’s visceral. It’s funny, you’re not the first person to tell me that. In the Spanish parts too, my voice becomes different. It takes another space in me. It can be surprising, but that’s the beauty of listening to an album and going to see the live show.
PAN M 360: I’m glad you said that because it resonates with the album review. Languages allow for exploration, indeed.
NOVEMBER ULTRA: Yeah, I learned Italian too… Not! (laughs) I learned a song in Italian. It’s something else, it’s funny. It’s interesting, the language channel, what it’s going to look for. It’s also our relationship to the language, and how we learned it. For me, there are two intrinsic things, the languages and the voice. I never asked myself if it would be weird to go from one language to another. They are tools for my voice to change. My voice on “Nostalgia/Ultra” is very different from everything else. At the end of “Soft & Tender,” in the Spanish part, people asked me who it was. We have multifaceted personalities. The music is beautiful in that, to wonder where you find that.
I saw a documentary yesterday about Simon & Garfunkel. Until the end, they were looking for what they can find that will take them out of their comfort zone. They tap their jeans and make all this rhythm that will become Cecilia‘s drums. I thought, that’s what making music is all about. There’s something about excitement and brokenness. It comes from all the tools that you bring. I want that on stage too. The difference is that the third tool is the people. You realize that the people will make the concert different. There is this thing of alchemy, my relationship to life, to people, what more can I become. What magic power I can hang up on my belt. Look I’m excited just talking about it! (laughs)
PAN M 360: It’s so intense these concerts, how do you manage them?
NOVEMBER ULTRA: (big sigh) Like everybody, I think. Sometimes you are full of energy, you link two weeks, and then it is a little harder. I am learning to verbalize better when I need time. I am well surrounded by people I love. I don’t drag my feet. I love my sound engineer, Percival. Everything is funny, all the concerts, I try to make people laugh. My stage manager, the same, my manager, everybody. Every morning I tell myself that I’m lucky to do what I do, with these people. Verbalize especially.
There was this stress when I got sick and I knew that I would have to cancel a date, that people would be sad and me too. That was my first thought, without allowing myself to be sick. I said to myself, “Be careful.” We are performing entities in this society. Be careful to allow ourselves to rest. My manager and I say “Chi va piano, va sano e va lontano.” I want to do this until I’m a hundred, I want to do it until the day that I die! (laughs)
It’s also the way we consume music that makes us feel like we’re always behind on everything. I release a lot of covers and it will take me a long time to release my own songs. I like this double speed, it must always be in the idea of pleasure.
PAN M 360: Concerning the fact of being a woman, and producing alone on a computer, you were talking about it lately in your stories on Instagram.
NOVEMBER ULTRA: Yeah, I think there are plenty of female musicians, non-binary people, and transgender people who do it, but we don’t allow ourselves to. We make a big deal out of it, but there’s a learning curve, like learning a lot of things. The nerve of the war consists in putting a status on these people. If at some point you co-produced your piece, you should have that credit, if you directed, or wrote. When I did those stories, it was to say, I did it on my album, and a lot of people do it, but look at how unvalued it is. I think it is changing. More and more dare to say and ask.
A friend of mine who was producing with Ableton explained automation to me. It was that simple, actually. I did “Soft & Tender” as an incredible beginner. It’s good too, not knowing how to use the software. Not having gone to conservatory, I don’t think it’s a big deal. I went to the conservatory and I have a lot of trouble playing without reading sheet music. I would like to be freer. On the contrary, we have to embrace all that. I learned the guitar by ear, and I make chords that don’t sound like anything! (laughs) The way I compose is my own, because I’m a beginner, and that’s OK.
You have to give yourself the space to do it, not to wait to be an expert, it has to be done now, right now. It’s going to be a picture of our life, of our career, at some point. That’s the only thing I could say: do it, get out there, don’t be ashamed of anything, get your statuses. Go get your fucking money! (laughs) Because money is about being able to live, to be steady, and do this job for a long time. That’s the only reason I say it.
