\u201cSo we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.\u201d
\u2013 F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019d been feeling nostalgic lately. Staring wistfully out of windows; sitting in parks as the wind in the trees blew back rose-coloured memories of a simpler time. A happier time. A less Orwellian, Kafkaesque time. Perhaps all this looking back had begun to occupy such a large space simply because I\u2019d been getting older. This is what happens. We all become every clich\u00e9. But, of course, these COVID years exacerbated the feeling. When moving forward wasn\u2019t an option for many of us, when we found ourselves abruptly forced off the road, and into a holding pattern, what else could we do but reminisce? I thought about years gone by. I thought about people and places I used to know. I thought, regretfully, about a time that, when I was in it, I couldn\u2019t wait to get past. I raced through my youth to get here. To where I\u2019d give anything to go back. Back to the time and place that Tim Heidecker (comedian and co-creator of the absurdist sketch comedy show, Tim and Eric, Awesome Show, Great Job!<\/em>) takes us to in his new record High School<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The album is full of references to the 1990s and his adolescence. In the song \u201cBuddy\u201d he sings about listening to Pink Floyd, Queen, The Beastie Boys, and Rage Against the Machine with a friend he\u2019s now lost touch with. \u201cHey, I\u2019ve got friends from high school that I\u2019ve lost touch with too,\u201d I said to myself. Other songs bring up Kurt Vonnegut, The Velvet Underground, Bill Clinton, Claudia Schiffer, Donovan, and The Rolling Stones. I should mention that it\u2019s not just about the lyrics and the stories in his songs that makes High School<\/em> great. The music and production are quite good as well. And with players like Kurt Vile and Mac Demarco involved, it\u2019s easy to get behind these melodies and performances.<\/p>\n\n\n\n After hearing these songs, I immediately wanted to learn more about Tim Heidecker. I thought I\u2019d found a kindred spirit in this crazy mixed-up world. Afterall, I was a lawn-mowing, snow-shoveling boy too! I was also getting into fights in the parking lot after school. By singing about his own life, he\u2019s talking about everyones’. Maybe the specific cultural references will change from generation to generation, but the feelings are the same. They\u2019re universal. \u201cWill I look back with regret, with moments to forget? Or will I love what I see?\u201d Tim asks himself. We get older and, like Tim, we go to bed every night, wondering if tomorrow\u2019s gonna be better It’s always a tough pill to swallow when you realize you can never go back to the way things were in your youth. It\u2019s gone, and all you can hang onto are the memories. It fades away, even the way you look and feel. Though, that can be a good thing sometimes. And now, many of us grapple with the fact that we may never go back to the way things were even two years ago. \u201cI\u2019m thinking every day, hoping I can stay this young,\u201d Tim writes in \u201cKern River.\u201d Perhaps that\u2019s a good daily reminder for us: the future is uncertain, filled with looking back, and today we\u2019re as young as we\u2019re ever going to be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSo we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.\u201d Always dreaming of tomorrow\u2019s successes, but often repeating yesterday\u2019s failures. It\u2019s ironic that I first read The Great Gatsby<\/em> while in high school and am now reminded of it while listening to High School<\/em>. I had to be much older before I really understood what that last line meant. We can\u2019t escape our pasts. Not individually, or collectively. But we can channel them into impressive pieces of music. Like Tim Heidecker, we can make art with them. We can put them on record, and write them into books, for our own catharsis, and for others to enjoy.
In \u201cChillin\u2019 in Alaska\u201d, Tim sings, \u201cit\u2019s makin\u2019 my mind wander back to yesterday. To another time and another place.\u201d And he says, \u201cI shoulda made my move, I shoulda been more bold.\u201d Suddenly, I think about the things I wish I\u2019d done, and the girls I wish I\u2019d spoken to. The chances I wish I\u2019d taken. In the song, \u201cWhat Did We Do with Our Time,\u201d Tim asks this question as he remembers those beautiful days, in all their glory, before the internet, cellphones, and social media took up all our time.
\u201cSometimes in the mornin\u2019, I get up and go for a walk alone. Thinkin\u2019 was it ever worth it? It all fades away,\u201d Tim writes in \u201cFuture is Uncertain.\u201d And \u201cI\u2019ve Been Losing\u201d tells us that, \u201cthe road up ahead will be filled with looking back.\u201d Damn right it will!
This brings me to \u201cStupid Kid,\u201d probably my favourite song on the record. It made me feel like he broke into my apartment, stole my journal, and wrote lyrics lifted from it. The song is about listening to Neil Young play \u201cHarvest Moon,\u201d and then learning to play the song himself. Finally, making a mix CD for a girl with that song on it. Damn, I wish I\u2019d written this song! And I imagine the title itself is a wink and nod to Neil\u2019s song, \u201cStupid Girl.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n